Really, really can't make it up.

I know I've nicked Guvnor Gadget's tagline but it is the only way to describe this (also on the official GMP website). You can hear the criminals laughing all the way from Carlisle to Chester.

An extraordinary piece of pink and fluffy optimism policing.

Unless, there is a glimmer of hope here, that the GMP article is so laden with sarcasm and that the officers in the Chadderton nick are the ones laughing. But surely not, not from the official GMP website? Please someone tell me this is a christmas joke........